Week 8 Previews

Don’t lie. This is what pops into your head every time you go to Favorites --> WAFFL - Work Affiliates Fantasy Football League. Just wanted to get that out of the way. On to the Week 8 previews…

Injured Reserve vs. Jacko’s Petting Zoo
I’m afraid Yahoo is wrong on their predicted win for IR in this one. Jacko is on a roll lately and is looking more and more like the perennial league Juggernaut (sorry Juggernauts) that it is. IR’s only hope for this one is that the Zoo has a few byes to deal with this week. IR is especially happy to have JPZ’s Ced Benson on the bench. The Manning brother that actually has talent and Marques “40 Ounce” Colston should be solid for IR as usual, but if IR pulls this one off it will be by less than 100 once again. Oddly enough, this one may come down to whose defense puts up a better number. Can the NYJ D slow down Miami’s WildPot offense? If they do, Jacko wins 105-99.

Pure Misery vs. Spring Branch Vatos
Nobody’s laughing at the Vatos now, huh? Well, yes they are. But the Vatos continue to win anyway despite having fewer total points than the last place team in the league. Pure Misery has dropped their last two and they are desperate for a win to get back in the playoff picture. Brett Favre returns to the frozen tundra where he will throw 3 picks in a humiliating loss to GB. It won’t matter because Reggie Wayne will make up the slack against SF. The Vatos start the Detroit Lions third wide receiver. Think about that for a second. They also start Chad Simpson. Yes, THE Chad Simpson, 4th string running back for the Colts. He is projected by Yahoo to fall down as he hits the line of scrimmage, earning him .7 points. Surely, the Vatos luck must run out this week. I predict it will by a score of 110-74.

Wildcats vs. My Vick in a Box
MVIAB has turned their season around despite a loss last week. Can they continue their improvement against the Wildcats, who are scraping to hold on to a playoff spot? On paper the Wildcats are looking to roll in this one, with double digit projections for all but two of their starters. The “Arizona” Wildcats are rolling with the Cardinals’ QB-WR-DEF combo, which should pay off handsomely against the Keh-uh-Lahna Panthuh’s. However, MVIAB has some decent matchups (two starters facing the Fighting Al Davises) that I think will keep it closer than expected. In the end though, the Wildcats will start a new win streak by a score of 112-104.

House of Pain vs. Horn Supremacy
Who wants to lose this one more? Will the HOP even field a team? At press time, they are starting 3 byes and an injured TE who is projected at 0. Hopefully, HOP goes to the bench to solve this, but that means they will be starting Eli The Lesser along with some highly suspect WRs. In addition, HOP is starting the 49er D against the Indy offense. It looks ugly for the HOP. On the other side, Horn is trying to figure out if they can score more than 100 again and still find a way to lose. There’s no way they can find a way to lose this one, right? Even their kicker is projected in double digits. The futility finally ends as the Supremacy notches their first win in a drubbing, 114-78.

Juggernauts vs. Too Damn Lousy
TDL was so sure of a win going into MNF last week but it didn’t work out. They get a chance to turn things around against the loss streaking Juggernauts. Yahoo doesn’t know what to do with this one, but I do. The Juggernauts have fallen out of love with the Bills and decided to shake up the lineup. Unfortunately, they have no strong options anywhere. They might get lucky and string together some good performances, but I don’t see it. Marion Barber returns for TDL to provide a boost. Adrian Peterson will step on the Green Bay defense’s face with a hobnail boot and put 3 defensive linemen in the hospital, giving TDL enough points to get past the Juggernauts 106-95.

CarJacker vs. Tackle Me Elmo
This one looks to be a heavyweight battle of epic proportions, or not. CarJacker is stacked as usual. LT goes up against Oakland, which is a good antidote to being an arthritic old man. Will Pierre Thomas really get 16 points for Nouvelle Orléans against the Ventyx Falcons? I don’t think so, but it may not matter. Elmo needs BIG games from Garrard and Addai to hang in this one, even if Chris Johnson goes off. I don’t see it happening. CarJacker keeps running up the score, 134-111 and keeps hold of the number one spot in the league.

Week 7 Wrap Ups

Pure Misery vs. Jacko's Petting Zoo

In a battle of .500 teams, Jacko continued to roll up the points and was able to put away Pure Misery. Kudos to Swami Carjacker who called this one pretty much on the dot: "RB Cedric Benson getting the chance to rub dirt in the noses of the depleted Bears DEF". Ced Benson - 189 yards and a score. Put him together with Aaron Rodgers (who looks like the kid from the AT&T rollover minutes commercials) and Jacko's sitting pretty.

My Vick in a box vs. Spring Branch Vatos

MViaB was knocked out of this matchup the same time their last hope, Brian Westbrook, was knocked out of the game Monday night. With the Philly defense abusing the Redskins, the Vato's poured it on in the end and took the win. Rivers put up a 30 spot for Vick in a valiant effort but he got little support from anyone else. Vato's won with Matt Cassell in the starting QB spot -- there's something wrong with that.

Juggernauts vs. Injured Reserve

First thing that pops out in this matchup is both defenses earned negative points for their fine efforts this weekend. Whee! Positive for Juggernauts - Miles Austin came to play for the 2nd game in a row with a bye in between. Negative for Juggernauts - the rest of the team sucks. Positive for Injured Reserve - Manning and Colston on a good day can anchor the team to victory. Negative for Injured Reserve - The rest of the team can't.

Carjacker vs. Too Damn Lousy

Close contest here for the leagues top spot and the Carjacker takes the cake. The #1 fantasy QB Matt Schaub continued to throw up good points for Jim and let's all give a warm welcome back to Donald Driver who returned from fantasy purgatory into prominence this week. TDL also threw up some points on their side of the bracket with Adrian Peterson putting up nearly 21 points but at the end of the day it wasn't enough to upset the team formerly known as the Freak Show.

Wildcats vs. Horn Supremacy

The winless Supremacy faired no better this week as they got taken behind the woodshed by the 'Cats. Desean Jackson scored a crap load of fantasy points for the Wildcats, YAY! Listening to Chris Berman Whoop during Desean Jackson highlights made my ear bleed, BOO! The Supremacy might be the only team in Fantasy Football anywhere that has Drew Brees on their team and Zero wins. Riddle me this: What's the difference between the Horn Supremacy and Drew Brees holding onto bucket of crap?? Answer: The bucket.

Tackle Me Elmo vs. House of Pain

A week after leaving tons of points on the bench and not fulfilling their writing duties, HoP they'd get back into the fantasy swing and start their best players. To that end, Brady and Welker connected for good points and Rasta Williams blew past the New Orleans defenders for a couple of scores and HoP put up a formidable point total. Unfortunately, they ran into the buzz saw this week known as a Carson Palmer led Tackle me Elmo team. Palmer and a resurgent Chad Ochocinco accounted for 7 touchdowns while a cast of Deangelo Williams, Addai and the leagues best fantasy TE Owen Daniels also helped Elmo one of the leagues highest weekly totals. Giggity.